Krusty Chaos
by simply-dazzling001
Summary: Mr. Krabs has brought in a new employee from some fancy culinary school. Spongebob is supposed to help the employee, who seems to know an awful lot about cooking. At least, before he gets behind the grill… Read and review, please!


Summary: Mr. Krabs has brought in a new employee from some fancy culinary school. Spongebob is supposed to help the employee, who seems to know an awful lot about cooking. At least, before he gets behind the grill…

**Author's Note: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants. Likewise, I do not own the Krabby Patty secret formula. **

"I'm ready!" shouted Spongebob, as he hopped onto his bike and pedaled to the Krusty Krab. It was another beautiful Wednesday morning in Bikini Bottom, and he was ready eager to go to work.

"Good morning, Mr. Krabs!" he shouted cheerily to his boss, who was standing near the register.

"Ahoy, lad! Are ya ready to make me some Krabby Patties today?"

"Yes, sir!" said Spongebob, donning his official Krusty Krab employee hat.

"Good to hear it!" replied Mr. Krabs, who began counting the money in the register.

The workday went on as usual, with Spongebob happily flipping Krabby Patties, Mr. Krabs happily counting his money, and Squidward unhappily taking people's orders and occasionally muttering to himself.

Then came lunch. Spongebob quickly prepared a Krabby Patty for himself, packed it into a brown paper bag, and sat down at a nearby table in the main part of the restaurant.

Just then, a blue-skinned fish wearing a professional-looking business suit entered the Krusty Krab with a brown suitcase and formal hat. Staring curiously at the new fish, Spongebob wiped his mouth with his napkin, then walked over to where Mr. Krabs was standing behind the register.

"Hey Mr. Krabs," asked Spongebob, pointing at the blue fish. "Who's that?"

Mr. Krabs looked up from his money and his face lit up in excitement. "_That_ is my new money-maker! I- I mean, our new employee! Come and meet him, lad."

Spongebob followed Mr. Krabs as he and the new fish shook hands.

"Hello, I'm Gil Fishkins," said the fish. "You must be Krabs!"

"Yessir, Mr. Fishkins! Happy to meet you! This is our head fry-cook, and your new boss, Spongebob Squarepants!"

"Nice to meet you, Spongebob," said Gil, shaking Spongebob's hand warmly. "I hear you make great patties."

"Only the best for the Krusty Krab!" Spongebob exclaimed.

"Gil here is going to be learning how to be a fry-cook, like you! So teach him how to make a Krabby Patty well, me boy. I'll be testing him at the end of the day. Good luck, Mr. Fishkins!"

"Bye, Mr. Krabs!" said Spongebob. Then he turned to Gil and said, "Well, come on over to the kitchen and I'll show you how it's done, Mr. Fishkins."

"Please, call me Gil," said Gil. "And thanks for teaching me. You know, I studied the culinary arts for nearly 10 years now and I'm eager to begin."

"Ten years? Wow," said Spongebob, truly amazed. "Mr. Krabs just gave me a spatula and put me to work. That's very impressive, Gil."

"Well, let's get to those Krabby Patties, huh?"

"Of course. Now, the most important thing is to never, never, never, ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever _EVER_ reveal the Krabby Patty secret formula. Got it?"

"Of course, of course," replied Gil as they walked into the kitchen.

"Well, here we are! The kitchen! Here's the sink, the patties, the buns, the fryers" Spongebob said, pointing to various things around the room. "And of course…my spatula! Now, let's get to work, shall we?"

Gil opened up his suitcase and pulled out his own spatula, one almost identical to Spongebob's. He held it up to indicate that he was ready.

"Now, the first step to making a Krabby Patty is the patty. Grab one of those patties in that freezer over there, Gil," said Spongebob, pointing to the freezer.

"Alright," said Gil, and walked over to the freezer and pulled out a single wrapped patty.

"Now," Spongebob instructed, "put it carefully on the grill."

"Alright…onto the grill," said Gil, and carefully unwrapped the patty and placed it down onto the grill. Unfortunately, his hand was touching the bottom of the patty when it landed on the grill and he burnt himself.

"Ouch!" said Gil, pulling his hand away quickly. "I nearly forgot that fry-cooking uses different techniques that I'm used to. Usually, I studied the techniques in making things like stir-fry and baking. Ah, that was some good stir-fry rice…"

"Stir-fry? Wow, I've only really tried making Krabby Patties," said Spongebob, with a trace of disappointment in his voice.

"Oh yes, and many different delicious desserts too, like strawberry cheesecake and the best pineapple crisp you've ever tasted," Gil said proudly.

"Well, I live in a pineapple," said Spongebob, chuckling nervously. It seemed like this newbie employee seemed to know more about cooking than he did.

"Well, since you know so much about cooking," Spongebob said carefully, "How about I just tell you what goes on the patty, and you try it yourself?"

"Um, alright," said Gil, scratching his chin. "So, other than the patty, which is turning a lovely shade of brown, by the way, what else goes on this sandwich?"

"Well….sesameseedbunstomatoonionpickleslettuceketchupmustardsecretsauceanda_pincho_fsalt," Spongebob recited. _Try to get _that_ one Mr. Culinary School,_ he thought.

"Sesame seed bun, tomato, onion, pickles, lettuce, ketchup, mustard, secret sauce, and salt? Well, sounds like your typical undersea burger. I'll give it a shot," said Gil, and he gave it a shot.

But not a good one.

While the patties were on the grill, Gil prepared the buns and placed them on the countertop. When they sizzled, showing that it was just the right amount of time, Gil carefully shoveled his spatula underneath the patty and lifted it. Unfortunately, he had neglected to notice that they needed to be turned over, and so his spatula was now stuck between the hot grill and the partially-raw patty goop, which was now smushed.

Chuckling nervously, he pried some more and finally managed to get the unidentifiable meat lump onto the bun. Next, he carefully sliced a tomato, but had aimed the knife the wrong way so that by the time he finished putting two neat slices on the patty, his entire face and suit was covered in tomato juice. He'd made equally disastrous messes with the salt, lettuce, onions, and especially the ketchup and mustard.

Not only did his Krabby Patty look like a mess, but Gil also looked like a mess, with his greasy spatula, ketchup-and-mustard-covered tie, and most of all, the look of defeat on his face.

"Ta-da," he sang weakly as he presented the Krabby Patty to Spongebob. _At least the plate looks nice,_ thought Gil, who had selected some of his finest China for the occasion.

"Gil, what happened?" asked Spongebob. "I thought you said you studied food for ten years...?"

"I did," said Gill as he sank to the floor against the wall. "I _studied_ the food, I never made any. The only thing I've ever prepared for a meal was some burnt toast with jam. And that Krabby Patty."

"You spent ten years watching?" Spongebob asked incredulously. Gil nodded sadly.

"Oh, what am I going to do?" asked Gil, covering his face. "I really want to keep this job so I can learn to cook, and Mr. Krabs will be here any second to test me!"

Of course, with perfect timing, the door to the kitchen opened to reveal Mr. Krabs with a clipboard and pen.

"Time for your test, Gil!" said Mr. Krabs. Gil looked at Spongebob with pleading eyes. "And Spongebob," Mr. Krabs added, "Get out. This test is for Gil, to see if he can do it himself."

Spongebob frowned then shrugged at Gil, and left the kitchen, leaving the new employee to fend for himself.

**What did you think so far? Review, please! :] **


End file.
